Woody Allen (12/01/1935 - ) US writer, actor and director

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.



Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.



How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?



Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's a pretty good empty experience.


If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

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